It’s been too long since we pitted a couple of Celebrity Pounders against each other. Let’s get to it! In this corner…
Patrick Stewart, Officer of the Order of the British Empire, accomplished actor with an amazing array of roles on the stage, big screen and small screen, as well as a number of voice roles, will be a tough one to tangle with. He’s Captain Picard, Professor Charles Xavier, Gurney Halleck and LeonDegrance. Royal Shakespeare Company? You know it. But rumour is, this photo captures the first time Sir Patrick ever Pounded a slice of pizza. Unsettling? For sure.
If this is the first slice ever for Sir Patrick, he’s doing an amazing job of acting like it’s no big deal.
And in that corner, in the sleeveless black tee-shirt?
Andrew Dice Clay is a legend of a comic. He’s been in the game for a full generation, performed for millions of people, he lit up the screen in “The Adventures of Ford Fairlane,” and then he started getting banned left and right. He’s still running strong and has and now has “Andrew Dice Clay Presents The Blue Show” on Showtime. But come on – first slice of pizza for this guy? Not by a fucking LONGSHOT.
One slice in the mouth, one slice on deck, and a Coke and a smoke to finish it off. OWWWWW!
If she was planning to cut that meatball into pieces – fuck, if she was even planning to cut that meatball in HALF, it wouldn’t be sitting up there, perched on a fork, waiting its turn in line behind a slippery, saucy little noodle. It is clear that Miz McCarthy is going to stuff that pretty little meatball right where the sun doesn’t shine. Of course I mean her mouth. Pretty dark in there. Go get ‘em Jenny!
We are applauding through the tears. Thank you Bruce Glikas and FilmMagic (and Buca di Beppo)
Come on, Glamour Pounders! Let’s see you all turn to the right, pick up that spoon full of food, and Start Pounding!
We begin with the Gold Standard of Celebrity Pounding, she by whom all others are measured – the Supreme Pounder herself, Kim Kardashian West. She has the form, she has the desire – she’s got it going on!
Was there any doubt?
And now we move on to something a little more formal, a little more staged, but truly an example of form at its best. Scarlett Johansson is giving us all she has with this delicious Ice Cream Pound.
High Class Pounding!
And of course, if you’re discussing the glamorous women of Hollywood who knew how to pack it away, there is only one name that MUST be included. Marilyn, we loved everything you ever did. Well Pounded, Norma Jean.
Few others could Pound It with such natural grace and enthusiasm.
But then, of course, someone has to come along and throw off the balance. Thanks a lot, Kathie Lee!
Aw Kathie Lee – you know we’re just kidding around. We think you’re the bee’s knees! Keep on being awesome! #CPI
We were going to say that Sir Paul lost a Super Bowl Super Bet with Sir Ringo, and that the loser had to eat an entire cheese by himself. And of course, Sir Paul being the awesome guy he is, would have clearly placed his cheese wager on the Seahawks. But then we knew that we would receive a lot of heat about the photo being from 1965 or something, and we didn’t figure the joke was worth it. So here he is, Sir Paul McCartney, Pounding an entire cheese by himself for whatever his reason was at the time. Enjoy.
No quarter offered, or taken. Hope for the Future, his new single, is out now!
Brian Wilson of the Beach Boys is one of those very few who truly eats, drinks and sleeps music. Here he is, Pounding music, and soon he will wash down that music with a cool glass of music. Followed by a nice musical nap. Well done, Mr. Wilson!
Macaulay Culkin is rocking Seattle this weekend with Pizza Underground, opening for the great Har Mar Superstar at Chop Suey in Seattle’s Capitol Hill neighborhood. That is going to be the most insanely awesome show of the year. Unfortunately for the CPI staff, we have to be in Delaware to catch William H. Macy as he Pounds an entire Yankee Pot Roast by himself. If we could cancel to be at the Har Mar/Pizza Underground show, we would. Please go in our place and tell us how it went! In the meantime, here is Macaulay in a moment of relaxation, Pounding a slice like he means it.
Tip of the hat to UNLOOKER, the Internet’s Guilty Pleasure, for providing us all with this Pounding.