Category Archives: Sexy Pounders

One of These Pounds Is Not Like the Other

Come on, Glamour Pounders! Let’s see you all turn to the right, pick up that spoon full of food, and Start Pounding!

We begin with the Gold Standard of Celebrity Pounding, she by whom all others are measured – the Supreme Pounder herself, Kim Kardashian West. She has the form, she has the desire – she’s got it going on!

Was there any doubt?

Was there any doubt?

And now we move on to something a little more formal, a little more staged, but truly an example of form at its best. Scarlett Johansson is giving us all she has with this delicious Ice Cream Pound.

High Class Pounding!

High Class Pounding!

And of course, if you’re discussing the glamorous women of Hollywood who knew how to pack it away, there is only one name that MUST be included. Marilyn, we loved everything you ever did. Well Pounded, Norma Jean.

Few others could Pound It with such natural grace and enthusiasm.

Few others could Pound It with such natural grace and enthusiasm.

But then, of course, someone has to come along and throw off the balance. Thanks a lot, Kathie Lee!

Sad trombone.

Sad trombone.

Aw Kathie Lee – you know we’re just kidding around.  We think you’re the bee’s knees!  Keep on being awesome!  #CPI

Sophie Monk, Charity Pounder!

Sophie Monk is a beautiful and compassionate singer, model and actress.  And holy smokes, she knows how to Pound It!

Good lord, we hope that’s Shepherd’s Pie.  Dribbly!

Good lord, we hope that’s Shepherd’s Pie. Dribbly!

But aside from her professional work, Sophie also gives back to the Pounding community.  Here she is, volunteering to help some tattooed goofball who clearly has a Pounding disorder of some kind.

Up and in there!  You can do it!

Up and in there! You can do it!

Miz Monk, you’re an inspiration to us all!  Keep on Pounding!

 

Check out all the Hollywood Blondes! They are POUNDING IT!

Like any other media outlet, Celebrities Pounding It has to constantly take the temperature of the Global Media Consumer.  When we asked you, the people, whom you wanted to see Pounding It more than any other, the answer came back loud and clear.  Blondes Pounding It.  Especially blonde women, Pounding It especially hard.  And so, since we are a compliant media who always give the people whatever they want, no matter how vapid or puerile the peoples’ desires may be, here comes a huge stack of Blondes Pounding It!  Let’s start off with refreshments…

You better believe blondes have more fun, especially when they’re Pounding It! Check out Perez Hilton, Pounding the Sweet Tea!

It looks like a Share Pound to us – if only we could know the lucky sharer!

It looks like a Share Pound to us – if only we could know the lucky sharer!

Gwyneth Paltrow is giving these tasty raviolis the Pounding that they have always desired. Nice one, Gwyneth!

Could use a little Cholula, but whatevs.

Could use a little Cholula, but whatevs.

Check out Nicole Kidman, sticking it in there like she doesn’t give a shit.  Beautifully Pounded, M’lady!

A truly gorge-ous Celebrity Pounder!

A truly gorgeous Celebrity Pounder!

Here’s Heidi Montag, giving a Sweet Pounding to a single raspberry!  WOW!

Not really Pounding It, but she’s blonde, so we’re going with it.

Not really Pounding It, but she’s blonde, so we’re going with it.

Lady Gaga is Pounding It in a very stagy and precocious way.  Pretty amazed with the speed at which this chick fell off the national Give-A-Fuck registry.

NEXT!

NEXT!

Kirsten Dunst is awesome.  We have no idea what she’s Pounding, and we don’t really care.  And now, out of respect for her privacy, we’re gonna back off.

What a doll.

What a doll.

Okay, that’s enough for a while – we’re going to take some time off and  let the batteries recharge for a bit, maybe recapture some of the love of this business that has slipped away recently.  But if any of you PoundWatchers have a great snapshot of a celebrity really giving the business to a plate of spaghetti, or a giant platter of BBQ, or a mile-high mud pie, feel free to send it our way.  We might add it to the pantheon of Celebrities Pounding It!

Whitney Port is Pounding an Artichoke Dip Sandwich! With Cheddar!

Not a sandwich with some Artichoke Dip on it… a Sandwich Entirely Filled With Dip!  Because if she’s going to be serious about pursuing a Mixed Martial Arts title, she’s going to need to pack on a few more Pounds.

You can really taste the Artichoke!

You can really taste the Artichoke!

Who Pounds It Sexier? Eva Longoria or Vin Diesel?

There is a scientific element to properly Pounding It.  The equation is basically Quantity plus Star Power times Enthusiasm.  But sometimes, you have to put that all aside and go for pure sex appeal.  So who do you pick?  First up, the beautiful Eva Longoria:

Okay, that's pretty sexy. Vin better bring the heat if he's gonna take the prize on this one.

Okay, that’s pretty sexy. Vin better bring the heat if he’s gonna take the prize on this one.

Okay Mr. Diesel – whaddaya got for us?

Masculine, and yet, almost coquettish! He makes a strong case!

Masculine, and yet, almost coquettish! He makes a strong case!

This is a tough call.  We put it to you, the Internet – who wins?

#CPI

Courteney Cox Pounds a Giant Bowl of Ranch Dressing. Anderson Cooper is Helpless to Stop It.

Maybe she didn’t see the giant platter of fresh vegetables. Maybe this is a new Hollywood Ranch Diet. Regardless, this is a Pounding like few we have ever seen.

Imagine slow glugs. Gluuuuuug... gluuuuuuug... gluuuuuuuug...

Hat tip to Anderson Cooper for providing this awesomeness.

Jennifer Lopez is Pounding this Creamy Coconut Popsicle with Panache

She Pounds It beautifully, no?

Yommy, creamy and coco-nutty! Nice Pound!