Super-tiny Sophia Loren is Prepping for a Pounding!

So elegant and beautiful, Sophia Loren is one of the icons of beauty, grace, elegance and sass.  So it was upsetting to see that she was, at least for a brief time in what appears to be the early seventies, shrunken down to the size of a Star Wars figure.

Figure A - standing between two normal, human-sized utensils. Figure B - trying to catch a normal-sized Chicken McNugget

Figure A (left): posing with a human-sized fork and spoon
Figure B (right): trying to catch a normal-sized Chicken McNugget (Barbie Townhouse kitchen)

If Sophia Loren was the subject of scientific testing, some kind of serum or gamma-ray, I think the people of the world deserve to know about it.  That said, you can’t take away from this woman’s ability to make even the most controversial PoundShot look amazing.  #CPI

Pound-Hacked!

Apologies to our readers – someone got into our system and posted a rant about meat. We are trying to remedy the situation, but we don’t seem to be able to delete the offending entry. We are working on it, but in the meantime, here are a couple of pictures of dogs pounding desserts.

Look at this little guy! Very non-controversial!

Look at this little guy! Very non-controversial!

Such a creamy treat for a cute puppy doggy! And he got a little bit on his nose!

Such a creamy treat for a cute puppy doggy! And he got a little bit on his nose!

Hey where the fuck did this guy come from?

Hey, where the fuck did this guy come from?

That’s more like it!

That’s more like it!

Again, sorry to Mitt Romney, Mischa Barton, Tori Spelling, Ed Sheeran and Vincent Price.

Celebrities, Please! Don’t You Know Meat is MURDER?

MURDER!

MURDER!

With all we know about animal cruelty, as well as the health problems that come with eating animals, isn’t it time we put a stop to this? We’re talking to YOU, Celebrities who Pound It!

Disgusting!  For shame, Tori – somewhere a cow is missing a rib because of you!

Disgusting! For shame, Tori – somewhere a cow is missing a rib because of you!

How would you feel if someone came along, knocked you out with a hammer and ground you up into taco meat?

You should know better, Mischa!

You should know better, Mischa!

Why can’t you celebrities be more like Ed Sheeran, and eat a gigantic bowl of pasta instead?

Unfortunately, this pasta is made with eggs, which is basically baby chicken murder.  But at least he’s trying.

Unfortunately, this pasta is made with eggs, which is basically baby chicken murder. But at least he’s trying.

Some of us want to see a better world without mass animal genocide. Of course, not everyone feels that way.

Is that a Meat Lover’s Pizza you’re Pounding, Meat Lover?  MURDER!!!

Is that a Meat Lover’s Pizza you’re Pounding, Meat Lover? MURDER!!!

I hope you carnivores sleep well!

Sir Patrick Stewart Goes Head To Head with Andrew Dice Clay in a Perfect Pizza Pound-Off!

It’s been too long since we pitted a couple of Celebrity Pounders against each other. Let’s get to it! In this corner…

Patrick Stewart, Officer of the Order of the British Empire, accomplished actor with an amazing array of roles on the stage, big screen and small screen, as well as a number of voice roles, will be a tough one to tangle with. He’s Captain Picard, Professor Charles Xavier, Gurney Halleck and LeonDegrance. Royal Shakespeare Company? You know it. But rumour is, this photo captures the first time Sir Patrick ever Pounded a slice of pizza. Unsettling? For sure.

If this is the first slice ever for Sir Patrick, he’s doing an amazing job of acting like it’s no big deal.

If this is the first slice ever for Sir Patrick, he’s doing an amazing job of acting like it’s no big deal.

And in that corner, in the sleeveless black tee-shirt?

Andrew Dice Clay is a legend of a comic. He’s been in the game for a full generation, performed for millions of people, he lit up the screen in “The Adventures of Ford Fairlane,” and then he started getting banned left and right. He’s still running strong and has and now has “Andrew Dice Clay Presents The Blue Show” on Showtime. But come on – first slice of pizza for this guy? Not by a fucking LONGSHOT.

One slice in the mouth, one slice on deck, and a Coke and a smoke to finish it off.  OWWWWW!

One slice in the mouth, one slice on deck, and a Coke and a smoke to finish it off. OWWWWW!

Cast your votes! Who’s got the stuff! #CPI

Jenny McCarthy is About to Pound Something Too Big to be Pounded

If she was planning to cut that meatball into pieces – fuck, if she was even planning to cut that meatball in HALF, it wouldn’t be sitting up there, perched on a fork, waiting its turn in line behind a slippery, saucy little noodle. It is clear that Miz McCarthy is going to stuff that pretty little meatball right where the sun doesn’t shine. Of course I mean her mouth. Pretty dark in there. Go get ‘em Jenny!

We are applauding through the tears.  Thank you Bruce Glikas and FilmMagic (and Buca di Beppo)

We are applauding through the tears. Thank you Bruce Glikas and FilmMagic (and Buca di Beppo)

One of These Pounds Is Not Like the Other

Come on, Glamour Pounders! Let’s see you all turn to the right, pick up that spoon full of food, and Start Pounding!

We begin with the Gold Standard of Celebrity Pounding, she by whom all others are measured – the Supreme Pounder herself, Kim Kardashian West. She has the form, she has the desire – she’s got it going on!

Was there any doubt?

Was there any doubt?

And now we move on to something a little more formal, a little more staged, but truly an example of form at its best. Scarlett Johansson is giving us all she has with this delicious Ice Cream Pound.

High Class Pounding!

High Class Pounding!

And of course, if you’re discussing the glamorous women of Hollywood who knew how to pack it away, there is only one name that MUST be included. Marilyn, we loved everything you ever did. Well Pounded, Norma Jean.

Few others could Pound It with such natural grace and enthusiasm.

Few others could Pound It with such natural grace and enthusiasm.

But then, of course, someone has to come along and throw off the balance. Thanks a lot, Kathie Lee!

Sad trombone.

Sad trombone.

Aw Kathie Lee – you know we’re just kidding around.  We think you’re the bee’s knees!  Keep on being awesome!  #CPI

Sir Paul McCartney is Pounding It!

We were going to say that Sir Paul lost a Super Bowl Super Bet with Sir Ringo, and that the loser had to eat an entire cheese by himself. And of course, Sir Paul being the awesome guy he is, would have clearly placed his cheese wager on the Seahawks. But then we knew that we would receive a lot of heat about the photo being from 1965 or something, and we didn’t figure the joke was worth it. So here he is, Sir Paul McCartney, Pounding an entire cheese by himself for whatever his reason was at the time. Enjoy.

No quarter offered, or taken.

No quarter offered, or taken. Hope for the Future, his new single, is out now!