Hey Fatties! How would you like to Pound one of THESE?

McGurgles

Morgan Spurlock, always the provocateur and “terrible infant” of the modern documentary cycle, is shoving into your face the exact burger that made him feel like this.

Looks like he’s about to yak. Because he IS about to yak.

There he goes…

YAK!

It also made him feel like this…

Beep… beep… beep…

And this…

Actually, he was just taking a call in this one.

What is it about this barely-digestable little greasebag (the Big Mac, not Mr. Spurlock) that is so impossible for so many people worldwide to resist?

In France, they call it Le Big Mac.

They may love it all over the world, but that disgusting little burger is 100% American thru and thru!

Yow! How about a side of cheddar cheese stuffed cornbread lard balls with kickin’ jalapeno honey jam to go along with that?

What can you do?  But as long as Mr. Spurlock learned his lesson about proper diet, then everything is gonna be…

Come ON!

Nothing more to add. Stay healthy, Pounders!  #CPI

Ground Control to Major Pounding! Neil Armstrong is Destroying Brunch!

Here we see Neil Armstrong as he Pounds his final earth meal before blasting into the cosmos.  On the menu?  Chicken wings scattered across a huge fried ostrich egg, over easy.  No fruit cup, please.

Fuck yeah he’ll take some pepper on that!

Adam Richman is Destroying a Giant Plate of Brown!

See that fork?  It’s made of AdamRichmantium, and it retracts back into his wrist when it’s not in use, like Wolverine.  SHHHHKKKKK!

The Poundometer indicates that a Salad Pounding Challenge would be a really good idea right about now.

Rob Corddry is Stretching Out His Pound Hole

Got a big date with Liv Tyler to Pound a shitload of fries.  Time to get prepped!

Insert fist and rotate at the wrist – clockwise first, then counterclockwise. Repeat. Many times.

Ms. Tyler is already at the table, pre-stretched and ready to Pound It!

Does Corddry know what he’s up against?

Hey Drew Barrymore – We’re Putting the Final Touches on “Charlie’s Angels 3: Penny Wise, Pound Foolish”, So Shoot Us an Email If You Want To Talk.

Three beautiful secret agents with the skills and the smarts, and better yet, who know how to Pound It!   We have eight treatments in development – here’s the first one.  Check out the eye candy!

Brooke Shields is the brunette Angel who Pounds Apples, speaks 183 languages and dialects, and designs custom weapons systems for rebel armies.

Busy Philipps is the blonde Angel who Pounds Pizza and looks adorable doing so, but is also a master of disguises and fights MMA in her time off.

And of course, we all know who the ass-kicking redhead Pretzel Pounding Angel is gonna be…

And if you can fit Crispin into it again, he likes to Pound Kebabs, but we haven’t figured out what kind of meat and veggie combo suits him. We are open to suggestions. But probably lamb and onion. And cherry tomatoes.

Do you love it, or do you love it?  You love it, right?  Give us a jingle!  #CPI

Arnold Schwarzenegger is tilted 45 degrees and Pounding It.

Apparently his table mate thinks it’s hilarious.

He's got the 1000 Pound Stare...

Barbara Loden (left) and Burt Reynolds are DangerPounding It!

The forks are RIGHT THERE!  Below the napkins!  We at CPI love a good Pounding, but this is just dangerous.  Thanks for the pic, Michael J!

Jackass the Prequel.

We have got to stop covering Bear Grylls when he Pounds It.

Good ol’ Bear was making a point about survival, because survival is his thing.  And then he tweeted this.

“In honour of all your @replies about pee drinking. am on vacation in LA. Looks like I’ll have to drink my own pee! http://twitpic.com/4z1fdh“

We didn't think the water in Los Angeles was THAT bad...

A Pound is a Pound is a Pound.  Well done, Mr. Grylls!

Kenny Baker, star of stage and screen, Pounding It on the set of some movie…

Courtesy of Michael J, who found the pic on some other site, here is Kenny Baker taking a break from being stuck in a little tin barrel in the blazing desert sun.  As you can see, he is Pounding the fuck outta that hot dog.

Hey Squarebot, keep your eyes on your own Pound!

Once more, Bear Grylls shows you how fresh a Pounding can be.

What is with this guy?  And why can’t everyone Pound It as hard as he does?

Sashimi takes too long. Must Pound Now!