Please Allow Har Mar Superstar To Rub Up And Down On Your Ear Holes for a While Before He Pounds It.

Damn!

Damn!

Har Mar Superstar is the Man. No two ways about it. Very possibly the greatest performer of all time. He gives his listeners everything he has every single time he steps to the microphone. His new album, “Bye Bye 17,” is coming out on April 23, and after listening to a few tracks on his site (www.harmarsuperstar.com), we at the CPI offices are hooked. If “Prisoner” isn’t the Song of the Summer 2014, there is no hope for any of us.

Pre-order “Bye Bye 17” on Amazon.com – you can go right to it here: http://amzn.to/Q7RIWc

With that bit of business out of the way, here is Har Mar Superstar Pounding It. Enjoy.

Thank you to Funny or Die for this pic!

Thank you to Funny or Die for this pic!

Prince Henry of Wales is Pounding It!

Some of you clowns are probably thinking, “Can’t Celebrities Pounding It afford a copy editor?  That’s Prince Harry, not Prince Henry.”  Well first of all, no, we can’t afford a copy editor.  Second, this dashing gent is most definitely Prince Henry, and Prince Henry is full-on Pounding It!

Super Suave Soup Slurp!

Super Suave Soup Slurp!

Elizabeth Taylor is in the Wing Zone, just in time for a Super Bowl Pound!

She is the embodiment of elegance, and an example to all of how beautiful Pounding It can be.  We miss you, Dame Elizabeth!  Keep on Pounding, don’t get any on ya, and GO HAWKS!

Dee-Lish!

Dee-Lish!

Ring-a-Ding-Ding! Ol’ Blue Eyes is About to Pound It!

Back when a good old fashioned Pounding was a casual and cool affair, not meant to be splashed all over the interwebs. Rock on, buddy!

Donut or Bagel?

Donut or Bagel?

Will Ferrell is all over this On-The-Mound Deep-Dish POUND!

If you don’t think Will Ferrell is the MAN, then there is no hope for you.  Here he is, taking over Pounding Duty from Ryan Dempster, who unfortunately didn’t have the stuff to close on that gigantic, delicious slice of Chicago’s Finest.

Better than a belly full of white dogshit, that’s for sure!  Thanks PRESSWIRE, and GO CUBS!

Better than a belly full of white dogshit, that’s for sure! Thanks to PRESSWIRE, and GO CUBS!

The Great Khali, Superstar of the WWE, is Pounding That Banana!

Oh, to be a bananafeeder to the Great Khali!  It’s not about glory, it’s about making a difference.

Look out for the mushy brown spots, oh great one!

Look out for the mushy brown spots, oh great one!

Gene Simmons is Pounding the Fattest of Burgers

Looks like the Gener is giving us the ol’ “Okie-Dokie” on this Pounding.  That’s one big-ass burger, so we’re going to monitor his progress throughout.

Tuck up those purple shirtsleeves, ya fuckin’ hippie!

Tuck up those purple shirtsleeves, ya fuckin’ hippie!